Mario Maker and Rocksmith

I got a new coin in Mario Maker, I still think that game is really really fun. I love it. But the more I play it,  the more functionality I want. 

I want to do things I could do in Little Big Planet. Have different triggers for things. For example if I kill bowser, it blows up some blocks so that I can continue moving forward on the level.. Things like that, Not maybe things you could to in Mario games really. But You could read signs I remember from Super Mario World.

Maybe they're sticking to what you could do in the real mario games.

I have seen things that others do that I have no idea how to do.

Anyway, the new coin let me upload 20 levels instead of 10. 

So right now I have uploaded 18 levels. Some of them might be too difficult.

I also started playing Smoke on the Water on Rocksmith. It is a fun song. And that famous riff is kind of easy. I need to keep repeating in often, 

like with everything else ofcourse. 

But it is a really fun song to play.

My ear

My ear looks strange. I don't know what it is. But I got some ointment or salve to put on it, Hydrokortison.

My left ear have been swollen. I need to pull a little on my chin to open it, but I need to keep pulling all the time.

Otherwise it closes again. Feels and sounds like I have an earplug in all the time. I guess it won't get better.

And I am also swollen in my nose. So I cannot taste much. Some things taste nothing. But when I struggle to breath in through my nose while eating. I can feel a little bit more taste.

I have been using alot of oxynorm lately. And the doctor has also given me Metadone. Small dose 5mg morning and night before going to bed.

Appearently a very strong morphine. But it will help with the nerve pain in my leg. It will take a few days before it kicks in he said. I think it starts to work now. But yeah. *sigh* another medecine I cannot drive my car anywhere.

If I want to go to the store or something. I can get help with that.... but then it feels like I am just giving up. I dont know what to write anymore really

I don't know what the yellow stuff is. Could be a wound. Or something with the tumour. The kortison oinment/salve I got helps to release the itching.

 

 

*Sigh* you won't believe it. New Neato problems....

Neato can't find the charger... Yes again. On the third one. It might just have been a one time thing, because it kept getting stuck on things.

It does work better than my second one. It works just as good as my first one did in the beginning.

Today it kept getting stuck underneath my tv room table. And then suddenly it couldn't find back to its charger "again". *sigh*

It is one of those things thay ruins my day for me. I need to forget about stupid things like that.

I think it might get confused because it often gets stuck on my doorsteps. All three of them did. And I move them a bit to get them going again, and maybe it's room orientation gets "out of sync" somehow. And when it want's to go back to the charger, the memory of the track back to the charger is all shifted and rotated around. That is my guess. So it might not be a big problem. And it doesn't happen all the time, it happens very rarely.

It got stuck under the bed in the guest room. My mother wanted to get it out of there the most difficult way. By moving the entire bed and... I don't know. I just said stop. I can reach it. And I moved it out of the room and then I pressed resume docking. And how stubborn is the little stupid thing. It wanted to get in there AGAIN under her bed going into the wall until it runs out of power. I have hade three neatos doing exactly this now. And it is ALWAYS under the bed in the guest room.

It is kind of opposite of the direction it should go. So I lifted it up and put it by the charger, or very close to it, like 1,5 meter or so. Then it found the charger and went back to it to charge.

Yesterday it was cleaning sooo good. Only took about two hours to complete the entire apartment. Most efficient cleaning any of my three robots has done so far. My old ones could clean from 7 to 12 till it was done with the apartmment... it just makes me worried now that this one is going to break down also. I just hope it doesn't.

I noticed in the store, that they have removed all the Neato XV Signature Pro, they only have BotVac 85 now. When I get a new one I will buy the BotVac Connected. Seems to be just like the D85, but with an smartphone app for it.

I am afraid that the little bounce it has to make everytime it passes a doorstep is damaging the camera or laser "eye" that scans the room somehow.

And, there were some new things to pick up at the postoffice today, three packages. A new replacement Neato ofcourse that I already talked about. Settlers of Catan that is said to be one of the best trading/strategy games. I have never played it before. A new "New Nintendo 3DS", this time in XL format, and in a limited white Happy Home Designer design. I think it was cute :)

I also got a 32Gb SD Micro for the 3DS. So I won't worry about running out of memory on it. I have not installed that yet, Also some new charger stuff for the 3DS, memory and charger stuff all came in the same package.

I got alot of things in the mail to pick up at the postoffice on the same day.

Plums

I got these plums from my neighbour. They are so good and sweet. I cannot stop eating them. Yum yum yum

My mother is going to make plum jam or something.

But there are endless amount of plums to eat.

Wii Fit U

I am really happy with my Wii Fit U. And that it was only 489 SEK. VERY cheap. I was afraid that there might be something wrong with it for that price. Normally it is 990 SEK on most other places.

I tried it yesterday. I have been playing Wii Fit before many times. And I borrowed Wii Fit Plus for a while.

I wanted to show my mother. But someone of us, or both of us was a little bit eager.

The first thing I tried was jogging. And you were supposed to hold the gamepad infront of you to look for friends. That felt completly pointless. And when jogging it didn't seem to register my steps very well.

And things need to be calibrated properly first. And for some reason the calibation went to hell first time so I was just spinning in circles. That I was spinning in circles was something my mother did not even seem to notice at all. She just kept asking why I needed to hold the gamepad all the time. 

*sigh* well there is s reason. And I kept telling her, there is something wrong when I first started it. "You see if I hold it straight I keep spinning around", and she just ignored it completly.

I personally like the "gamey" parts of Wii Fit

So I showed her the Yoga and things like that. She seemed more interested in this. Also happened one time that the balance board got out of calibration. So in one excersice I had to lean a little bit too much to the right to get the center of gravity correct.

My mother kept asking what was wrong with ME, and she stood up and showed me "just do this, it is simple". And I frustratingly tried to explain to her that there was a little red dot on the screen that you are supposed to keep stable inside a yellow area. But when I was standing correctly on the board, the red dot was going to it's maximum in another direction. This means that the program did not register the center properly from the beginning.

But she did just not understand it, or refused to understand it. And trying to calm her down and explain it very slowly. She will just completly ignore it and keep trying to explain to me "look, she is doing this pose in the game, do that"... And I'm like, yes.. but, but, but, but.. gaaah... I understand that already. My mind was too busy thinking about making the game to work properly so that it can register my results properly. While she would ignore that, and just do the excercise.

I hate excercise, the only thing that can make it fun for me are these kinds of things like the Wii Fit, that gives you all these numbers and graphs and stuff. Then it is fun.

So... She kept asking me "Do you often fall to that side, that is not good. Why are you like that?".. this is one of those times I can loose my temper really easily. She is destroying that nice moment I wanted to have with mum, showing her how fun and practical the wii fit is. I just wanted to erase, start over, "can you understand that there has happened something with the machine, it is faulty, it doesn't work properly. We need to start over". At this point she might go haywire and think that I need to give it back to the store or something, and maybe that is why it was so cheap..

My anger and frustration just grows and grows. Take a deep breath and relax. Some people are not technical, they can simply not understand technical things. But they are probably very good at understanding other things very well, that I probably am bad at.

Instead of having some physiotherapist coming over and showing almost exactly the same things the Wii Fit U does.

Ofcourse I can have a physiotherapist anyway, and I can show him/her the Wii  Fit if they dont really now about it already. Their excercises was a little bit different. I do them also sometimes.

But the different is. After 30 min of Wii Fit U, it affected my entire mental state. I felt so much more happy, less tired, more motivated, less easy to get angry. I just felt good. I will try and keep using it 30min per day. And maybe a short walk with the stepcounter. It so much more fun now with the Wii U step counter.

The nurses came to visit. They did not at all understand the point of the Wii Fit. They're so fun (sarcastic). They always want to recommend things like."you should go out more often and do some simple excersises".  Yes, I do that. And I pointed to the balance board. And they didn't get it at all. I said I use this and then I take small walks. I think this Wii Fit makes it a little bit more fun instead of this gray boring 'same thing every day'-routine. It is depressing.

Same thing wih the food. The nurses. And mother also is like.."But if you feel like you need a little food you can always take a little through the feeding tube"... yes practical. But when I don'"t need the feeding tube. How damn boring is it. To just sit there and wait with this thing droppin in. I can play games while I do it. But I would rather eat something and taste it. I know I only have this limited time left to be able to taste anything at all.

And this -> "But you can just take something through the feeding tube" :D, isn't that fun?

No, 

Ok whatever. I am howerer very very happy with my Wii Fit U.

Step counter

Simson and balance board

Fatso

Box

Help, what a terrible nightmare.

Tonight my computer worked on producing this terrifying Deep Dream image of me. When I was in the hospital after the operation.

I did not sleep very well this night, I woke up often. I took sleeping pills but I only slept for a few hours. When I woke up I felt quite good anyway.
I am still worried a little bit, like that panic attack is still hanging on a little bit from yesterday.

Today some friends wants to come and visit, but I don't know if I really feel like it.

When I woke up this morning I played Mario Maker, making a new level. I have removed some of the old levels from an older post, so you might now find them.

Here is the new one from today

9782-0000-008B-A5F5

The new Neato is working well so far. It got stuck on my coord to the headphones. I hope it didn't damage the Neato now. I accidentely turned off housecleaning when removing the coord from the Neato also, it was going back for charging. So I just put it back on the charger and started a new cleaning process.

Wii Fit U

I ordered a Wii Fit U. It was only 489 SEK. With all the things with it. I think that was pretty cheap.

I also got my new Neato yesterday. This one seems to work very well. It gets stuck on my doorsteps/thresholds,  but it has been the same with all of them. Eventually they seem to learn how to get over them without getting stuck.

I am really hungry now.

I have gained so much weight

I can hardly walk up the stairs.

I need to practise. I did the excersises that they showed me at the hospital once. I need to do that everyday. But I hate exercise. I will forget to do it. I know it.

78.9kg today. Phew.

Maybe I should get Wii Fit U.

What a crappy day it was yesterday

I was so depressed yesterday. And I was telling my friends alot of things that has been irritating me about them. E, ofcourse the bully type person could not take a little bit of critisism.

I said that I felt hurt by constantly hearing how childish and boring my interests are. I didn't really say "I felt hurt". But I said how much I hated when people have that attitude, "you can not do it"-attitude. Like the guy in the store, or my father.

So E responded very sarcastic like "Well, bo-ho, sorry then that I said it was impossible to put together some tape and wooden sticks and maybe make it fly". Like he didn't deserve the critisism, and also ridicule my hobby by making it sound stupid and childish. 

Like how he laughed at me when I bought a multimeter many years ago, that kind of attitude is still stuck. I never understood why that was funny.

Like how he laughed at the electronics breadboard, how it looked like a childrens toy. Maybe it does, because it is blue and white and has some colors on the connectors. But, I can not stand that laughter. It always has a sense of making him sound superiour.

I guy that studied together with me the last year in school. He built his own robotic lawn mover. I mean, he built everything. He carved out parts of the chassis in wood. And it looked quite funny.

He is lucky that he doesn't have E as a friend. Because E would roll around on the ground laughing at that thing. He would ask what it could do and why it couldn't do this and that, he would comment on how the blade he used on it was completly useless and how the thing is just utter crap and laugh. He would have this attitude that, if you can't do something that is just as good as anything you can buy in a store. Then what is the point in making it.

I, however do know how to show some respect. I understand very well that when you design electronics, the last thing you think about is how it looks estetically. You make some prototype that works. Then after that you can make it look better also. But this was just a hobby project, it was never meant to be a real product. I understand that when you make something like that, the fun part is making it. Then if the result is crappy doesn't matter. The fun part was making it, and making it work. And then, when you get bored on that project and move on to the next.

I would never laugh at someone, because I know how much it hurts them and how it just makes their motivation go to hell.

I kept complaining on things yesterday in the chatroom. But the last thing that they seemed to understand was that I have terminal cancer. And I don't feel well,  especially in the night. I kept thinking, and talking about all those moments that was stuck in my head. When I felt hurt by them.

One that just popped into my head. When E threw a snowball right at the driver side window when I was driving slowly by them, winking goodbye. And everyone laughed hysterically over this. I was scared like hell when that thing popped right next to my head. And I was thinking, "stupid idiot", and just drove home.. so once I did excatly the same thing on E. But ofcourse because I am me, and I am a looser. I think I missed the window. And another friend told me I was being stupid and said "Don't do that" in a very parenting way, because there can be small stones in the snow that can crush the window. And I think E had a sour grin on his face when I threw that snowball, because he was thinking the same maybe. Hypocrit.

This almost explains everything. It explains what kind of status everyone has in the group.

And I absolutely hate this "system". And sometimes I just absolutely hate E. Always in the center of attention, standing there like some Budda..Harmless and has never hurt a soul in his entire life. He is just perfect. Good looking, funny and charming. Actually I have never met a more perfect person. He always wins. He wins discussions. He won yesterday when I was complaining, by making me feel like I had no reason to complain.

This is not a moment were I felt hurt, but maybe a little bit irriated. I mentioned when we were in Japan, at the Ryokan. And M had set the AC to like 50 degrees celcius in the middle of the night. Well, first of all, M isn't very bright. He said he didn't remember the Ryokan, and asked if it was the place we ate at in Kyoto. After a while he understood it was the hostel I meant. His explanation was that the remote control had "japanese symbols" on it so he didn't understand how it worked that he had set it on such a high temperature. Even if the guy that owned the place had explained how it worked. It had three buttons, on/off, up and down. And they had even translated the text on the buttons. Well,  I just *sighed*. It wasn't one of the moments that was among the worst. It was just so stupid. I was often irritated during the Japan trip for all of the times I had to spend on McDonalds because he was hungry. And always asked me "But, aren't you going to eat something, aren't you hungry"... yes, I was hungry sometimes. But I wasn't going to eat fucking McDonalds when I am in Japan probably for the first and last time in my life. I'd rather spend all my time investigating the sewer system of Tokyo for 2 weeks and then go home than eat at McD, Burger King or KFC. What a waste of f@/&@&ng time that was.

They never seemed to understand that I was deeply depressed. The only response I seemed to get was that I do not have anything to complain about. They have only been nice to me always,  and I was just being stupid to be so angry at them now. It seemed like that anyway.

I even mentioned that I have a tumour in my face that is constantly growing. That I can't do anything about. Maybe they had forgotten about that. I never got a response on this. And I wonder what they think. Do they think "You're not the only one in the world with a tumour, stop complaining". Or do they think "We are all going to die some day,  stop complaining". I don't know.

They don't seem to understand very well. E always asks if I want to come over to his place. I have to explain that I don't think it is good for me to drive that far. I can drive a short distance. I have problems with my neck, I can't turn around and look behind me that easily. I am very stiff. I eat lots of painkillers that contain morphine. My hearing is damaged. I have borowed some hearing aid devices. But I think they are very irritaring. They should be custom made for me really. For amplifying the frequencies that I need. But I think the medication is the first thing that is the reason I shouldn't drive. First of all, you are risking others peoples lives when you drive in that condition.

I know I have no excuse to drive a short distance. It is just as dangerous.... well a longer distance could make me more tired and potentially more dangerous.

I just left the chatroom. And I already miss it. It was good to have it. They are not always stupid. Most of the time we have a good time together, I think most of the time anyway. And it felt good to always be able to write something or post a picture. Even if they never responded on it. Or just ignored it. It didn't matter much. It just felt good to have.

And maybe I will join it again. And maybe E would laugh at it and say something "yeah, you come crawling back to us after all".

OK then, but maybe I am  just filling up a natural need in my brain. Maybe you don't really mean anything to me. Maybe I am like a cat. They don't care for their owners. They just stay where ever they get food. But.. no I won't say that. Cause he would only laugh and say. "Yeah that is true". Or something. He would not care at all.

....And while I am  writing, I am back in the group again. C added me to the group. Yeah. Whatever. I'll put it on silent.